Yes, Captain. You have, indeed, stumbled across The Apocalypse. In fact, I rather like the image of stumbling into someone else's Last Days because I feel like that's how it's going to go down for all the non-believers. The End of the World should be relative to one's own religious leanings.
So, for example, as fire rains down from the sky onto Catholics the world over, those who are still awaiting the Messiah (for the first time) might find themselves thinking, "What terrible weather the [Italians, Irish, Colombians...] are having. Perhaps I won't go for a walk and instead will inside and light some incense as an offering to [Buddha, Vishnu, Zeus...]. Or, maybe I'll circumcise some young children today. Mazel tov. And for those unlucky enough to be having a post-dinner stroll, getting trapped by some crazy angels blasting horns might ruin the day entirely.
So for some, this Blog may well represent The End. And for others, it might just be bad weather. There was certainly some foul storming going on yesterday.
But today is a better day, and I even managed to smile by the time I went to bed last night. I think it had something to do with getting things accomplished, like more moving and more sewing and more - just MORE everything. Last night I managed to increase my consumption of time within the same number of physical hours as the night before, so that made me feel better. Time travel is always a pick-me-up.
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This is a very helpful point of view to consider for anyone who desires (however remotely) to predict the arrival of the Apocalypse. For centuries, humankind (mostly referred to as "man" for some reason) was convinced that the sun was a ball of fire in the sky, rolling around the earth at an altitude of approximately 2000 feet once a day. Then Newton discovered (or rather, articulated the nature of) gravity and suddenly we thought we had stumbled across The Truth (give or take a few crucifixions and/or burnings at the stake). But then, a couple of centuries later, a certain Swiss patent-worker-turned-scientist blew all of that up into the vanilla-hazelnut sky by declaring that space and time were intermingled and that gravity was simply a side-effect of that union... and we realized how little even the wisest of us knew. (This point was further emphasized when Einstein failed to come up with a unified theory of physics before his death. I mean, c'mon, man, if he couldn't do it, who can?)
But I digress. The point is. Just as we discovered so recently in our collective history that gravity is a relative notion, so we must (as our dear blog author here posits) accept that the Apocalypse may also be relative. It may have even happened already to the Zoroastrians, but how would any of us know? Exactly.
So, let all of the signs labeled "John 3:16" burst into flames, may Christian Slater's hand be pierced with Robin Hood's arrow without the use of special effects, and let us all get stoned and have a massive orgy in order to stave off the pain of each of our own Apocalpyses, wherever and whenever they may manifest themselves to us.
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